Okay, so there was a slight misunderstanding about Pekoe. He wasn't kidnapped exactly, just rehomed - but how's a cat to know? Come to think of it I should be delighted that he's gone: he was, after all, quite grumpy and smelly.
I mustn't let minor interruptions distract me from my true goal, namely: ousting the terrible Kyana La Banana and reclaiming my rightful place on Chatopia's throne.
I'm a benevolent ruler. Although my rule is absolute, it is also fair. Once reinstated I shall do the following.
1. I, Lucy-Poozy, Queen of Chatopia, owner of the peachy belly, shall once again be respected and admired by all lower felines - which means no more being chased away up the cat tree.
2. All Chatopian cats shall be free to roam and grow plump and content in my Kingdom, so long as they do not depreive me of my right to eat anything I want before they do.
3. Let them eat catnip!
4. The chair, eh-hem, I mean Royal Throne in the centre of Chatopias reception shall once again be the seat of my power. From it I shall survey my Kingdom, or rather, Queendom, bestowing honour upon those who I deem worthy, and receiving praise, glory and snuggles of adoration from all humans who find themselves in my presence.
Long live the Queen! (that's me!)
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